pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The Olympian is in my bed
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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