hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can I color on your dick again?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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