How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
