If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
