if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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