pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
...so i touched it.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
