He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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