I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
