I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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