she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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