Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
50% drunk capacity currently
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
