if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
