Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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