It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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