when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
