good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
