You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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