you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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