Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
