atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
