2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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