Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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