All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
