Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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