And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can I color on your dick again?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
