my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
