Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
