He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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