Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
