Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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