I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
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listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
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How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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