How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
