I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The ass gains better be worth it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
