I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his