Porn is love you can see.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The uberlube is also flammable
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
