you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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