My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
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...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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