I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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