They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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