He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
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first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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