This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
