have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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