Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
