I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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