I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
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