Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
