alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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