Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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