Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
