I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
