Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
