Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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