Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
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Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
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Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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