Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
