if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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