I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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