So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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