Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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