Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
third nipple confirmed
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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