Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize